“What I Would Tell My 25-Year-Old Self”
Dear 25-Year-Old Self,
I see you there in that bar in Little Five Points looking for fun, excitement and adventure. If I could slam it in reverse I’d tell you, Get out of that damn bar, put the beer down and come out with your hands up!! Also, the guitar player guy you’re with…he’s not coming with you.
You’re receiving a violation for Reckless Driving on the road of life from your more mature self. I want you to understand this isn’t a punishment but a gift I extend to you. I want to give you directions to reroute your journey. You’ll experience some turbulence on the way but it’s the only way out. This is where the rubber meets the road.
I want you to have an optimal driving experience so I’ve designed this manual for you.
Before you begin, buckle up with self love, respect and acceptance. You struggle with fear of abandonment but you should learn to love and trust yourself. No longer can you recklessly abandon yourself with alcohol, drugs and men. You should find the inner peace and joy that comes from loving yourself and setting healthy boundaries.
Your fear of being alone has caused you to pick up random hitchhikers along the way, freeloaders who exceed their baggage allowance and never pay double occupancy tax. They weigh you down emotionally and physically. Lighten your load and let them go. If you don’t learn to love yourself you’ll continue to drive down the highway of life with your hazard lights flashing, signaling to everyone that you’re in crisis mode. You’ll attract those who reflect your inner self loathing and they’ll hurt you and you’ll hurt them.
Love yourself more. Trust your intuition, follow your internal GPS and never ignore red flags. When a boy tells you he’s a “bad boy” he’s a “bad boy.” Recalculate and move on quickly. Check your gauges. When you’re running on fumes, fuel up. Fatigue limits your reaction time and decision making skills. To avoid fatigue: practice mediation, yoga, and journaling. Be kind and gentle with yourself.
Start your engine, put it in drive and follow your bliss! You’re the hands and feet of the Divine. You have the power to accelerate, slow down, turn around or stop at any time. The thing you most enjoy when hours seem to pass as minutes – that’s your bliss. Follow it! That’s where you’ll step into the race of life.
You’re a writer! Yes, you are! You have a voice! All that you adore about the musicians you fall madly in love with is also inside of you. You have your own talent. Never mind your poor grammar skills or that you were recommended for speech therapy in third grade because it isn’t about you anyway. The focus is on the message not the messenger. Your imperfections are your greatest gifts.
Improve your vision and get more clarity. Take off your sunglasses and use your headlights to clear out a path before you. When life brings fog or rainy conditions make adjustments by reducing your speed, use windshield wipers and defrost those windows. Use your tools and get clarity. If you must, you may look for a safe place to pull over until the conditions improve. Be sure not to give up. You are not there yet.
Your upcoming collisions will be due to driver distraction. You lack the experience necessary to drive safely while distracted. Distractions make you susceptible to head on collisions and keep you lost in circles of confusion. The possibility of serious injury or death is great. People who are traveling different paths with their own itinerary (without regard to yours) should be avoided. When you see these reckless drivers it’s time to let go of the gas, keep left and use your horn and headlights. Keep focused on your route maintaining awareness to detect these hazards before it’s too late.
You’ll have numerous rear end collisions on your journey resulting from following too closely to othervehicles. Learn self sufficiency and let go of codependent patterns. Stop tailgating and find your own lane. You’ll see other motorists experiencing their own adverse conditions along the way. Some will even stop their vehicles in th middle of the highway unable to navigate the conditions themselves. They’re a hazard to you and impede your progress. Go around them being careful not to injure them but keep moving.
The side impact collision will be the most damaging for you as most vehicles aren’t built to withstand this type of damage. You’ll be blindsided by certain people and situations. If you’re in danger of a side impact collision then your best option is to accelerate. Don’t apply the brakes. Make sure the way ahead is clear, step on it and drive it like you stole it. You’re driving in the eye of the storm that will propel you to change. Welcome this.
The force of the heavy winds will cause buffeting but hold on and make a decision to counter steer in the direction you want to go. When you find yourself in another relationship with a non believing, narcissistic, emotionally and physically unavailable man counter steer. You’re worthy of being loved by a whole person.
To achieve optimal driving conditions gain some traction and grip the road. Ground yourself with the knowledge that you’re the hero of your own journey. You’ve been sliding out of control making many bad decisions along the way. Your choices will determine the condition you arrive in at your final destination. Arrive in mint condition, not wrecked or damaged. Get in alignment with who you really are. This will allow you to change direction safely. Keep your mind, body and spirit in alignment with the Truth of the Universe. You are love and worthy of love.
Choose life and choose to have it in abundance. You hold the key. See you at the finish line!
Written for addictivedaughter.com by Renee Williams
Diana Renee Williams is a Writer, Child Advocate and Domestic Violence Volunteer living in Augusta, Georgia with her two children Zakk & Dylan. She has an interest in self empowerment, spirituality and enlightenment. She aspires to use her writing as a guide and service to others on their evolutionary journey of life.
Feature box: Carley Merriman
Girl & car photo by Carmen Cabezas