The Perils of Being F*cked & Ch*cked
We’ve all been there. As Misteeq used to say, temptations, sensations, vibrations and consequently, that one night stand.
If we’re being honest with ourselves, although the actual night can be a considerable amount of fun, the days after aren’t commonly renowned, stereotypically, for being a girl’s absolute best. After watching a close friend go through a fiasco over a night of passion recently, I noticed a pattern that seems to be set in stone for most chicas who delve into the realms of fleeting sexual promiscuity.
Day 1: One Night Stand.
Day 2: Tendencies to be high as a kite. Whistling as you walk, making everyone laugh, generally in a 10/10 state of being.
Day 5: The scandalous cretin of a boy hasn’t text you back. Mood is slightly defeated and you’re feeling a bit despondent.
Day 7: Symptoms of grumpiness, a bad-temperand generally being down on the world. An all-round unenjoyable lass to be around. A week on from the event and the dilapidation has begun; the crippling blow of an uninterested one night stand.
Day 9:You go out the house and walk round the park in circles out of pure frustration and devastation at your rejection. You would quite like a placard on your forehead saying,
“I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND AND HE DIDN’T TEXT ME BACK, THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END, ASK ME IF I’M OK PLEASE PASSERSBY”.
Day 10: You ask your friend over a coffee:.. “How is it possible that one boy can change my mood like this?”.
What a very valid question.
We might not be able to answer WHY it’s possible here at Addictive Daughter, however we can tell you HOW to boost your spirits in our loving little AD step-by-step guide to aid you through those post-sexual encounter blues.
You might think this is impossible, and I’m aware that on some occasions it is, but very often half the problem is that we let ourselves be taken by the tide. We don’t fight the current, we simply sit there and take it and sometimes even enjoy it.
You can’t deny, we do all love revelling in our emotion every once in a while with “the xx” full blast in our headphones, but I say, how about we give paddling in the other direction another go, hey gals?
So you’ve slept with someone who didn’t care/know much about you.
First natural knee-jerk reactions to dealing with said scenario:
- Go out and get slaughtered
- Get with someone else (Woah there. One. Problem. At. A. Time.)
- Go and stay at your mum’s house and cry for a week (Just No.)
Let’s face it, none of these are the dream and so why not tab this article so that next time, you can give this a little go.
1. Be aware of how you’re feeling.
First port of call, enjoy the period where you feel fine and pretty smug that you’ve managed to have casual sex without caring. But be wary that the shit, dejected period is most likely, on it’s way to you. But for the mean time, sit smug. Smug is nice.
2. Don’t indulge yourself in feeling rejected for more than one day.
When the inevitable happens and you feel like shit, let yourself lie in, have cheese on toast with brown sauce for tea, listen to heaps of depressing music on the tube home. But promise yourself it’s only for a day.
Get it out your system and then go to sleep, perhaps with a hot chocolate in hand to help.
As they always say, tomorrow is a new day.
3. A little self-assessment never hurt nobody
As the sun rises and the next day dawns, don’t go to mccdonalds for breakfast, or for any other meal for that matter. Make your day the entire contrast to the last. Take this shit situation as an opportunity to take a step back andrevaluate things a little.
Rather than going out and putting the hangover-of-the-year upon yourself, work out why you felt the need to sleep with whoever this person was.
Dissect the situation with a friend and think through all the potential reasons that it might have occurred. More often than not, it links to self-esteem at the time, other things in your life being out of control, feeling a bit lost etc.
4. A good old-fashioned list
Once you think you’ve figured yourself out, write a list of everything you want altered in your life. It could be tiny things but it’s always good to reassess at times such as these. Us Addictive Daughters like to keep a list in our purses and update them every couple of months whenever “a meltdown of life” may occur. If you keep them across the year, it’s also a great way of seeing how far you’ve come step-by-step as it happened….
5. Have a productive day
Once you’ve written the list, make the day after your sob fest productive and positive.
Get up early and start the day with a run.
Eat a fruit salad.
Whatever sets you off on the right foot towards getting back on the wagon of normal life, because there is literally zero point dwelling over some dickhead lad who hasn’t had enough time to even say hello via text.
6. Learn from your night of lovin’
If a one night stand has given you the blues, it doesn’t matter providing that you learn from it. If you know that something makes you feelshit, then wisely remember and don’t go running back for more. Make this little stumble valuable by recalling how you felt on this occasion the next time you are propositioned in the corner of a nightclub. There is nothing wrong with a meaningless fling or a onenighter, but if you can see that it repeatedly makes you feel blue, then take note!
This step-by-step potentially sounds a little obvious but when you’re wallowing around and don’t know what to do, it can often be hard to think clearly. All we’re saying essentially is don’t let yourself mope around… He really isn’t worth that kind of effort, headspace or time!
Start acting like an Addictive Daughter and the rest will come naturally.
A little bit of practice does make perfect.
Written by Caitlin, writer / researcher for Addictive Daughter
featured blog post image: Giavannina Sequeira